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1995-08-20
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Path: newserv.ksu.ksu.edu!moe.ksu.ksu.edu!vixen.cso.uiuc.edu!howland.reston.ans.net!EU.net!uknet!zippy.dct.ac.uk!dct.ac.uk!mcscs1eid
Newsgroups: alt.startrek.creative
Subject: Funny Trek Lists
Message-ID: <1994May26.115025.1@dct.ac.uk>
From: mcscs1eid@dct.ac.uk
Date: 26 May 94 11:50:25 GMT
Organization: University of Abertay Dundee (DIT)
Nntp-Posting-Host: vaxc.dct.ac.uk
Lines: 67
Ten Things to Try on the Enterprise.
10. Trying to find two totally different parts of corridor.
9. Pressing your buttocks against the control panels to see what response
you get.
8. Sneaking up behind Data and turning his ears the other way around.
7. Ordering something that doesn't exist from the replicators.
6. Going to a floor that doesn't exist in the elevators and either get
popped out of the top or dropped out of the bottom.
5. Sticking a mirror in the transporter when somebody beams up to see if
they go bouncing around the room when they arrive.
4. Seeing if GameBoy cartridges fit into the communicators.
3. Putting a piece of chewing gum onto someones badge communicator and then
laugh as they try to answer someone.
2. Going through green, yellow, mauve, baige, purple, red and any other
alert just so you can have some nice disco lights.
1. Putting go faster stripes on the Shuttles.
Ten Things That Probably Wouldn't Happen on the Enterprise.
10. Pressing Data's left nipple and his head pops off.
9. A freak electric storm hits the ship and fritzs out Data. Someone goes
to see if he is alright and the word 'Nintendo' pings up on his eyes.
8. Turning down the gravity in Ten-Forward and watering down the drinks so
that everybody still feels as though they are getting drunk.
7. Wesley actually doing something that didn't endanger the whole ship.
6. Worf getting drunk and going about the ship saying to everybody that
passes by 'You looking for a fight?'
5. Someone sticks some hard-core porn on the Holo-Deck.
4. Somebody invents a sport that doesn't involve wearing lycra and requring
you to know 500 different rules.
3. As the Enterprise is orbiting a planet, someone in a space suit is
floating outside cleaning the windows.
2. The Enterprise gets a speeding ticket for going at Warp 8 in a Warp 6
zone.
1. A race of creatures is found that don't actually want to kill anybody
and don't control the universe.
_____________________________________________________________________________
| | |
| - THE BIG BANG THEORY - | "Why have you cut off your hair?" |
| | "Because I wanted to make myself look ugly." |
| Erik Downie | "Ugly? But why should you wish to look ugly?" |
| | "Well, you're the one with the implanted tusks. |
| mcscs1eid@dct.ac.uk | You tell me!" - Halo Jones. |
|_________________________|___________________________________________________|